In other news Andrew and I presented our preliminary report findings to university members in the Aborlan WPU campus yesterday. We were told a van would be waiting for us at the WPU Santa Monica gate at 7:00 am, so I got up at 6:00 am to shower and dress. A few students from WPU were also presenting their papers, but everyone was speaking in Tagalog, so we never really got the chance to introduce ourselves or talk to anyone. It was a pretty uneventful trip overall, however one thing of note happened:
On the way to Aborlan (about a 1.5 hour drive from Santa Monica) the driver popped in a Bon Jovi cassette (yes a cassette) that had all of their most popular stuff on it. The van was deathly silent except for the wince inducing squawkings of Jon Bomb Jovi. Then “I’ll Be There for You” began and three of the four Filipino students began squawking right along. I was sandwiched in the middle, dressed to kill, with a crooning student to my left, Andrew falling asleep on me to my right, and two students crooning in the back. I sat there thinking about how this must look to anyone outside and realized that, except for the white guy in the suit, it would have been pretty typical. After I figured this out I didn’t give it much thought when the exact same thing happened on the way home a few hours later.
In other other news, I’ve come to accept that I’m a closet wrestling fan. The comedy channel here is Jack TV and, for whatever reason, they constantly play WWE wrestling. They play vintage WWF matches, WWE RAW, WWE SmackDown, ECW, and TNA. Peter loves watching it, so whenever he’s in the room, which is 90% of the time, if wrestling is on we are watching it. He’s not a huge diehard fan, but apparently I am. I can better express my meaning through paraphrased dialogue and hyperbole:
Peter: “Hey mate! Wrestling’s on. Wanna wotch it?”
Me: “Uhm, yeah sure”.
Peter: “Oi! Do you watch wrestling in Newfinland?”
Me: “Nah, not really. I mean, I watched it when I was a kid, but I was never a diehard fan or anything”.
Peter: “Vegemite.”
Me: “Uh huh”.
*Some old match with Hulk Hogan, ‘Superfly’ Jimmy Snooka, Mr. T (?), some other dirtbags, and special guest referee, Muhammad Ali begins. I couldn’t make this up.*
Me: “Why the hell is Mr. T wrestling Hulk Hogan? Is that Muhammad Ali as a referee? This is insane”.
Peter: “It’s classic mate!”
Me: “Nah, classic was when Jake "The Snake" Roberts had his snake murdered in the ring by Earthquake”.
Peter: “Huh?”
Me: “Yeah man, it was crazy. Well, it would have been if there was an actual snake in the bag when Earthquake sat his fat ass on it, which there wasn’t, but I’m getting off-base. Earthquake was this huge wrestler who had a feud with Jake the Snake. Jake used to pull out this bag with a snake in it as some retarded finishing move. I guess the snake would inject venom and kill his opponents or something, I dunno. Anyway, earthquake had enough of Jake’s shit and after beating the crap out of him he took the bag with the snake in it, danced around the ring a little bit, and did a big fat elbow-drop to the bag, presumably destroying the snake and Jake’s psyche.”
Peter: “Who’s Earthquake? Also, dijiridoo”.
Me: “Earthquake was originally made out to look like an audience member. Dino Bravo, wanting to show everyone how strong he was, decided to do a push up with the fat ass on his back. Next week, bam, Earthquake came out in his gigantic one piece wrestling suit”.
Peter: “Roight”.
Monster
The weeks rolled on and we began to watch more and more wrestling. I would always contend that I wasn’t a wrestling fan and then educate him on 15 years of WWF history.
Peter: “Shit, Triple H is fawking huge”.
Me: “He wasn’t always that big. He started off as Hunter Hearst Hemsly and his shtick was that he was some prissy noble or duke or some shit. He was normal looking back then. I think he had China as his manager/bodyguard. She has a penis now”.
Peter: “Oi?”
Me “Yes man. See....holy shit look! Shawn Michaels! I thought he broke his goddamn neck years ago. Wow, he’s huge too”.
Peter: “I thought you never wotched wrestling?”
Me: “I didn’t. Shawn Michaels used to be a part of the tag-team group ‘The Rockers’. The other dude was Marty Genetti. I remember they had a huge falling out. I think Michaels kicked Genettit through a plate glass window on Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake’s show. Also, 'Sexy Boy' is the best intro music ever”.
Peter: “I’m not even going to ask what that means”.
Me: “Yeah, you shouldn’t”.
Peter: “Well, I’m off to feed the dingos with Paul Hogan”.
Me: “Keep it real”.
I think this picture sums up why they were called 'The Rockers'
So, I think that sums it just about up. I’m a closet wrestling fan. This makes me stoked, as Jordan, Davis, myself, and others have planned some drunken wrestling PPV nights.
Another reason on my medium-sized list of reasons I can't wait to come home.
NOTE: I need a proofreader. I edited this post at least six [ed. make that seven] times now. I'm accepting resumes.
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5 comments:
you sir were watching the main event of wrestlemania 1.
haha. this is awesome. and nicely done. I have to admit i never knew where earthquake came from. Thanks for the info. Also please inform me of said wrestling ppvs as I wanna watch this shit and drink beers during said watching.
a question i have not related to wreswhen is: when you can't remember/understand what peter is saying do you insert aussie sterotypical lingo?
Absolutely not. Peter frequently recounts childhood tales of feeding the dingos with Paul Hogan. Also, at fairly regular intervals his face will go slack, his eyes will dilate, his upper lip will twitch, and a thin slick of perspiration with appear on his forehead and he'll scream "Vegemite" or "Hobart" at the top of his lungs. You get used to it.
Oh, and salt water is flammable.
;)
Ah Yea Wrestling is Noice, Real Noice!
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