The Meth-Cat contest has gotten some pretty good entries so far. Keep ‘em coming.
The original Christmas break plan was to jazz around the Philippine islands with Jimmy. This has changed. Jimmy now has familial obligations and Andrew has plans with his girlfriend. Instead of crying in my soup I decided to grow a pair and travel by myself. To ensure I don’t puss out I just finalized buying a ticket to Manila for the 20th and a ticket “home” (Puerto Princesa City) from Cebu City for January 7th. The combined cost of both tickets is around $90. Holy shit.
The plan as of right now is to fly to Manila on the 20th and stay in Malate. Andrew usually stays at a place called Malate Pension, and he says it’s alright, so I think I’m going to check it out. Manila is a huge city comprised of ten districts. Malate is one of these districts and has a reputation for being the tourist capital of Manila. I figured since I’m a first time traveller Malate would be my best bet. It increases my chance of meeting up with other travellers. Since Manila scares the living shit out of me, this is a good thing. Maybe I’m giving Manila to much flack. I only briefly travelled through part of the city on my way to Puerto, but what I saw made quite the first impression. It doesn’t help that everyone I talk to about Manila has tips and tricks of how not to get robbed, beat down, or unknowingly solicit prostitution. You can probably understand my apprehension. You also may be wondering “Well why the fuck are you going then?” My response: Manila is a huge urban center, the likes of which I have never experienced. The closest thing to a “Manila” in Canada would be Toronto, which is really no comparison at all. Last time I checked Toronto had around 4 million people. Manila has 15 million. I always wanted to go to Toronto to see a big city. Skyscrapers, a vibrant downtown, all that shit. Now I have the chance to see nearly four Toronto’s all smashed into one. That means Manila must be four times as awesome! Airtight mathematics.
Four Torontos.
Also, Manila is one of the easiest places to travel to. It’s a great hub city to branch out from. Since my next destination, Legaspi, is reasonably close to Manila, I figure I might as well stay for a few days to soak in the sights, sounds, tastes, and crimes. Being a lifelong student of the School of Cynicism, working towards a joint major in scepticology and scepticonomy, I issue the following challenge to Manila: Manila, I know you’re reading this. I heard from a friend of a friend that you were kind of an asshole...no offence. I want to start off on the right foot though. I guess I shouldn’t have said I heard you were an asshole then, huh? Ok, listen, I’m sorry about the asshole remark. No, listen. I mean it. I was out of line. Let’s start again. *Ahem* Manila I heard from a friend of a friend that you could be a bit of a handful. A bit standoffish. A little curt and frank. I don’t want to believe them, I really don’t, but my educational background prevents me from accepting anything different. Maybe you can show me different Manila, show me you’re not the big bad monster everyone has you made out to be. Prove them wrong Manila. Prove them wrong.
After Manila has its way with me I’m travelling to Legaspi to se Mt. Mayon. Mt. Mayon is an active volcano and has been described as the world’s most perfect volcano. Apparently its shape is liken to the classic storybook image of generic volcano. I’m going to hire a guide and do a day-hike up its side. Currently it’s at a caution level of 2. I’m led to believe this is fairly safe. In 1993 a bunch of volcanologists were blown to pieces and probably melted alive when Mt. Mayon exploded beneath them. When all was said and done 77 people were killed and Level 5 was taken that much more seriously. I’m totally pumped. Volcanoes are the shit.
Mt. Mayon. I'm climbing this!
After Legaspi I’m going to catch the ferry south to Cebu and from there another ferry east to Bohol. Bohol is home to the Chocolate Hills and the tarsier monkeys. The Chocolate Hills are a group of a few thousand large hills formed by what scientists believe to be the coastal uplift of coral. They are lightly vegetated with grasses. During the summer the grasses are scorched by the heat of the sun and turn brown. When this happens they look like, wait for it, chocolate. Ingenious!
The tarsier monkeys are the world’s smallest primates and hold the distinction of being so ugly they’re cute. If you were inclined to grasp one of the charming little monsters you would be able to fit it in the palm of your hand. There is a reserve in Bohol dedicated to the preservation of the tarsiers and I’m going to check it out.
I wish I could type a word to express "Awwww" and "Ewwww" at the same time.
After Bohol I might head west and check out Boracay. Boracay is one of those places you might see on “Wild On...” at 3:00 a.m. with drunken American girls flashing their titties all over the place and drunken American jock retards vomiting over said titties. Certainly sounds good on paper, but the time taken to get there, and the chance that once there I might not even be able to find a place to stay, doesn’t appeal to me. Boracay’s definitely one of those places that you experience with a few buddies and no cameras. Who knows, I may sleaze my way over there, but I don’t have my heart set on it.
Boracay (probably).
I have my return ticket booked from Cebu, so I get to check out Cebu city for a few days as well. I hear it’s basically Manila junior. Should be an interesting place.
This Christmas is going to be exciting and strange at the same time. I’ve never spent a Christmas away from my friends and family before. Now I’m going to experience that with the added craziness of being in the Philippines. I’m especially going to miss Christmas Eve at my Uncle George’s house. We don’t have many traditions in our family, hardly any actually, but every year since I’ve been a little boy we’ve spent Christmas Eve at George’s. When we were younger, Jordan and I would hole up in the basement and play whatever videogame system was popular at the time. Favourite memories include Bart vs the World for NES, Turok: Dinosaur Hunter for N64, and Street Fighter III: third Strike for the poor old Dreamcast. Ahhhhh, good memories. Lately we’ve added getting sauced to the equation with positive results. I’m definitely going to miss this.
Fuck Rudolph, Urien punching Hugo in the feet screams Christmas.
See, this is what happens when I wait over a week to wipe my thoughts on my blog; massive overflow. In other news I have a fat guy following me around on a motorcycle. I’m not even kidding. I think fatty means me harm but fortunately for me and unfortunately for him I’m intelligent and he’s a fat idiot. I’ll tell you about it next time.
You’re not getting my iPod you big fat asshole!
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1 comment:
ok please try and not die or be kidnapped during Christmas if ya could. Too many movies of bad things happening to people in that part of the world and it makes me paranoid. You better update your status to "still alive" during your "adventure" regularly. The world wouldn't be the same without some Walsh :). Miss you and wish you were going to be home in Newfoundland for Christmas (where the only chance of death would be from the fireworks on New Years Eve...lol)
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